Mary Sue
by SilverDrama
Summary: On her sorting day, the New Generation almost make Mary-Sue Smith cry, and, WHAT?, she ISN'T screaming for revenge?


**Author's Note [7/21/2011]:** Due to common comments on the subject, I have edited the story for grammar errors and fluency problems. Sorry about them before, I was thirteen. Beyond that, I added in a few sentences here and there and changed Mary's last name.

**Mary-Sue**

_By: SilverDrama_

"Smith, Mary-Sue." Professor McGonagall called.

Every student in the Great Hall stopped what they were doing and turned to the sorting hat and the girl beneath it who was squirming her slightly chubby body as her long brown hair trembled.

"Mary-Sue?" A blonde Ravenclaw whispered to her friend.

Her friend's eyes grew. "Yeah, I think that's what she said."

The two girls returned their eyes to the girl under the sorting hat. Boys across the table from them were arguing between Gryffindor and Slytherin.

"HUFFLEPUFF."

The students of Hogwarts looked confused and the Ravenclaw girls looked as though they'd been clubbed over the head.

"What?" Teddy Lupin, sixth year, asked. "She can't be a Hufflepuff, she either has to be a cool Gryffindor or a nice Slytherin."

Mary-Sue looked towards Gryffindor table and found Teddy in the crowd, her face was scared.

"Yeah!" Oliver Wood Jr. exclaimed. "Well, Mary-Sue, you don't have any parents, right?"

"Both of my parents are alive, thank you very much." Mary-Sue argued.

"Well, one of them either abuses or neglects you, right?" Victoire Weasley asked.

Mary-Sue shook her head, her hair tangling in the process. "They're nice to me, except when I break the rules."

"They abuse you when you break the rules, don't they?" Victoire asked in a dark, accusing voice.

Mary-Sue shook her head. "They ground me for two days, that's it, I swear."

"Wait a minute!" James Potter, second year, said, "Why do you have a British accent?"

"I was born in Kent, that's why."

"You mean you weren't born in the ever populars called London, Surrey, or some really unknown place in the UK that the author knows nothing of and will most like butcher by the end of the story?" Louis Weasley asked loudly as he knocked over a fifth year sitting next to him. The boy sat up and threw a roll at him.

Mary-Sue looked oddly. "Author?"

"Never mind that Mary-Sue. Answer the question!" James shouted as he stood up on one of the benches to try and see over Teddy's stature.

"I was born in Kent." She reiterated, rather confused.

"And why are you chubby?" Lucy Weasley asked from the crowd where all of the other first years stood.

"What?" Mary-Sue looked close to tears as she sucked in her gut.

"You're chubby, you're supposed to be incredibly hot and perfect and skinny." Oliver yelled.

"I'm ugly?" Mary-Sue held back tears, barely.

"You're at least a muggleborn, right?" Molly Weasley Jr. asked.

"I'm a half-blood, my dad was a muggleborn, and my mum was a half-blood." Mary-Sue explained, almost annoyed, but still trying to suck in her gut.

"So you mean that there's no chance of a back-story of your mom running away from her pure-blood family for your filthy mudblood father?" Montague asked from the Slytherin, earning a slap from the girl next to him.

"No, there isn't." Mary-Sue said, scrunching up her face, gripping her wand only to remember that she knew no magic.

"You're an only sibling right? So you can have a secret sibling show up later." Molly yelled too loudly so Mary-Sue had to cover her ears for a second.

"I have a little brother Benny and little sister named," Mary-Sue was cut off.

"Riley?" Oliver guessed.

"Amanda?" Victoire and Teddy yelled at the same time.

"Madison?" James guessed.

"Katie." Mary-Sue answered.

"Oh Merlin, so some boring old name!" James muttered.

"It's a nice name!" Mary-Sue answered.

"Hey! Louis said. "Why do you have brown-hair? You're supposed to have red or blonde hair _or_ you're supposed to be a metamorphmegas."

"Aren't those rare?" Mary-Sue asked.

"Exactly." Dominique Weasley piped in.

"Huh?" Mary-Sue's eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

"They're rare so you'd have instant popularity like you people always do." Victoire answered for her sister.

"You people?" Mary-Sue questioned the wording.

Oliver shouted. "Honestly, are you a Mary-Sue?"

Mary-Sue nodded her head slowly. "My name is Mary-Sue if that's what you mean."

"Exactly, so you're supposed to be perfect and you have to befriend Lucy, James and Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood's nonexistent child." Teddy shouted.

"Why?"

"BECAUSE!" The entire school shouted.

"You're a Mary-Sue." Victoire, Teddy, James, and Oliver finished.

"So?"

"Mary-Sue's have to befriend a Potter/Weasley/Lupin so that they have an interesting plot that includes Voldemort." Oliver explained.

"I thought Voldemort was dead." Mary-Sue asked.

"He was, but you never know, the author could write Voldemort alive with some old archaic magic." Teddy said.

"If you guys can bring people back to life, then why don't you all bring Teddy's parents back to life?" Mary-Sue asked.

"SHUT UP!" Teddy yelled, his eyes flaring from neon yellow to burning red. "You're not supposed to talk about it."

"Why?"

"Because, apparently, even after not having my parents for most of my life, I'm still bitter over being reminded of that!" Teddy yelled.

"Why?"

"Because, Mary-Sue insert-random-name-of-the-author-here Smith," Mary-Sue looked confused as Teddy yelled, "That is how things work in this world for people like you."

"Do you remember how you said you were unpopular?" Louis yelled at her.

Mary-Sue nodded, eyes skirting the floor.

"Well then you're going to go all evil in Hufflepuff and kill everyone for not being nice to you, right?"

Mary-Sue shook her head.

"This is DUMB!" Teddy yelled. "Can we just kill her _now_?"

"No, Mister Lupin." Professor McGonagall said. "She's a part of our school now stop being so cruel to her. Now Mary-Sue, why don't you go sit at the Hufflepuff table."

Mary-Sue looked thankful as she quickly ran over to the Hufflepuff table and sat down.

"Let the sorting commence." McGonagall said.

_Poor Mary-Sue,_ McGonagall thought, _this school seems to have a problem with children named Mary-Sue._


End file.
